Thursday, September 27, 2007

Dexter murders my morning commute

So, one of the downfalls of working for MTV is that you have to trek into the over-crowded Times Square every morning to get to work. Today, however, I was surprised to stumble upon a fountain of blood. Turns out the [amazingly awesome] Showtime series Dexter is setting up these fountains in major cities all across the U.S. this week to promote the new season. If they didn't make a big enough spectacle with that, people wearing blood-spattered lab coats were handing out free DVDs of the first two episodes and little bottles of branded hand sanitizer.

At first I thought, Are they really allowed to put all this blood in the middle of family-friendly Times Square? and then quickly followed up with, Whatever... it's f***ing cool.

The second season of Dexter premieres Sunday, September 30th.

Danner, Fiennes join new FX drama

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Ryan Murphy, creator of the ever-so-wonderful Nip/Tuck, has gotten powerhouses Blythe Danner (pictured left), Joseph Fiennes (below) and Robert Wagner to join the cast of his new FX drama about a transexual.

The currently-untitled show--formerly called 4 oz.--revolves around family man Bob (Fiennes) who decides to make the transition to female. Danner and Wagner will be playing Bob's parents, Bunny and Scotch. The pilot is expected to go into production at the end of October, with Murphy himself at the helm.

All I have to say is that if this show is as cool and crazy as Nip/Tuck, I will definitely be tuning in.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Chuck It

I got a chance to watch NBC's new spy "dramedy" show Chuck last night. Well, I wish I could I say I watched the whole thing, but I could only stand it for about 20 minutes. If you aren't aware of the premise, the story follows Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi, pictured middle), a geeky yet oddly attractive guy who unwittingly receives an e-mail from his ex-roommate-turned-CIA-operative that contains loads of secret government information. Naturally, a dozen U.S. agencies want the information retrieved, so they send out Major John Casey and Agent Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strahovski, pictured left) to do the job.

What really bugged me about this show was how long it took for an actual story to develop. I understand with pilots a lot of setting up is necessary to start the series, but this took way too long. I was waiting for a plot for 20 minutes and never got one. Also, NBC has really been pushing for this as a "dramedy", but the "comedy" part of that never really surfaces. The stereotype of the geek that is socially awkard yet is somewhat-attractive has been done so many times that it begs for redevelopment. Unfortunately, Levi delivers more of the same, although I do feel like he was given little to work with. I would love to see him in something else as I do find him to have some sort of strange appeal. My friends at work tell me that he is-- in fact-- a new hot commodity in Hollywood. But until he finds a better role, I recommend skipping out on Chuck.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sneak Peek: Cavemen

This Fall, ABC rolls out a new half hour sitcom based on a television commercial. From the start, this show is going to have to have to work harder than most to create viewers and if we hadn't seen a preview, we certainly would have passed Cavemen without a second thought.

But surprisingly, a program created from an insurance advertisement has turned from horrible idea into brilliant television. Cavemen creator Joe Lawson, the same man behind the commercials, was signed to ABC to write the pilot in March of 07' after the runaway success of the adverts. The original cavemen were at first meant to star, but instead the show now features Bill English as main caveman Joel, comedian Nick Kroll as caveman activist friend Nick and seasoned actor Dash Mihok as the goofy brother Andy.

The show follows the exploits of the three twenty-something cavemen as they deal with relationships, in-laws and at the heart of it all, racial stereotyping. The pilot takes place at the country club of Nick's fiance, where a western themed bbq is being held. Joel, Nick and Andy are stopped at the door when they are not on the list and from there, hilarity ensues as all three characters are roped into fulfilling the racial stereotypes equated with cavemen, such as clubbing people and wild sex. The writing is clever and the characters immediately likable from the beginning. The stand-out performance comes from Nick Kroll as the outspoken friend as he sweet talks the older gentlemen at the club, including Joel's future father in-law and in the opening scene, dominates the dialog as he points out how the caveman weather guy dresses up and dances for the camera.

Overall, Cavemen is an intelligent social commentary about the persistence of racial issues in America. It tackles racism with grace, brilliance and remarkable humor. Cavemen premieres Tuesday, October 2nd, 8pm.

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Emmy's... Even We Didn't Watch

Instead, we were watching Monday Night Football on Sunday night.

We were happy to see however that many of our favourite shows and stars won. Below are the ones that we care about:


JEREMY PIVEN as Ari Gold HBO Entourage


TERRY O’QUINN as John Locke ABC Lost


JAIME PRESSLY as Joy Turner NBC My Name Is Earl


KATHERINE HEIGL as Isobel “Izzie” Stevens ABC Grey’s Anatomy




RICKY GERVAIS as Andy Millman HBO Extras


SALLY FIELD as Nora Walker ABC Brothers & Sisters


AMERICA FERRERA as Betty Suarez ABC Ugly Betty


JAMES SPADER as Alan Shore ABC Boston Legal





Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Jon Stewart + Oscars = Awesomeness

I realize I am about 6 months early on this one, but according to early reports, Jon Stewart will be hosting the 2008 Academy Awards, which will take place on February 24.
I gotta say, first of all, I am tad surprised about this one since Ellen Degeneres did such a phenomenal job this past year, but I am also pretty stoked, because I have such a crush on this little man and I'm glad to see that he will be back to host. In a tux. Lookin' smooth. Awwww yeah.

Why should I care what Perez Sez?

I don't find Perez Hilton's website particularly interesting or brilliant, but I can't help but be amused by the fact that on his VH1 special "What Perez Sez about the VMAs", he asked Pharrell, "Who has the bigger dick, Kanye or 50?" Now THAT, my friends, is some serious celebrity journalism.

He also has great convos with Simon Cowell, Pete Wentz, Mandy Moore, Hilary Duff, Michael Buble, Eve, M.I.A., Mika, and Amy Winehouse. Plus, a reasonable amount of the show is dedicated to shamelessly mocking Avril Lavigne.

Overall, his show is far superior to his website. He still annoys me a tad, but I'd watch his celebrity interviews again. He beats the shit out of Mary Hart.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I loves me some Cash Cab!

Can we all agree that Cash Cab is the best trivia show on TV? Okay, maybe I am a tad biased since I live in New York City, and I have now officially made it my goal to be a passenger in the Cash Cab... but still, this show kicks so much ass.

If you haven't seen it, check out your local listings. It's usually on for an hour in the late afternoon/early evening on the Discovery Channel.

You'll thank me later.

Simpsons season 1... Brilliant or unwatchable?

I'll be the first to admit that I am a shamelessly geeky fan of the Simpsons. I can tell you the last names of Moe, Apu, or Krusty the Klown's Rabbi father. And thanks to the advent of DVR, I usually have no less than a dozen episodes on my list of saved shows. I remember watching the show when it first came out, and I haven't grown tired of it yet.

I was a tad apprehensive, however, when I learned last week that my local Fox affiliate would begin airing the series in it's entirety; one episode per day starting with the very first... Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire. (You know, the one where they acquire Santa's Little Helper.)

You see, since I was about Lisa's age when The Simpsons began airing in 1989, I was a tad too young to really appreciate it as anything more than a silly prime time cartoon. (Although, admittedly, I did think Bart was super cool, and I did go so far as to choreograph my own dance with my neighborhood friends to the song "Do the Bartman" off the Simpson's first album. I did, however, not go so far as to own a t-shirt that said "Don't Have A Cow Man." I had some class as a child.)

It wasn't until my teenage years, and what I consider to be the glory days of the Simpsons, that I really started to appreciate the show for how amazingly brilliant it is. (Or at least how brilliant it had become.)

Looking back now on the episodes of season 1, I see a completely different show from what we have come to know and love, and certainly very different in terms of humor and aesthetics as what recently appeared on the big screen. The voices just aren't quite right, the animation is sloppier, and it's majorly lacking in the scathing social commentary it has become so famous for.

That being said, it's almost worth watching just as a history lesson. It's not that great, but it's interesting to see the beginning of the great empire. Plus, in only a few weeks, they will be showing the Monorail episode. And I'm sure I'll appreciate it even more than ever before.

Monday, September 10, 2007

I Love NY 2 Cast Picture!

My guilty pleasure has finally returned. Hallelujah! I'm pulling for the little guy.

I Love New York 2 debuts this fall (as does Flavor Of Love 3). I'll be coyly watching.

Tyra Banks = most annoying tv host ever?

I knew it was a bad idea from the beginning, but after watching todays season premiere of Oprah, I thought to myself, "hey, maybe I should check out the Tyra Banks show! I mean, how bad can it possibly be?"
Well, it's bad. Real bad.
Tyra is consistently guilty of the following offenses...
- gratuitous high fiving
- raising the roof
- overuse of the term "bling" (although, if you ask me, any use of that word is just too much)
- thinking that she is the greatest person on the planet
-telling everybody she comes in contact with that she is the greatest person on the planet

Tyra has moved her show from LA to New York, and spent the first 10 minutes of this season premiere episode showing us her "move" across the country. I can't really go in to how retarded this was, but I feel slightly dumber after having watched it.
Next was an interview with Rhianna. And by "interview" I mean 10 minutes of Tyra talking about how Mary J Blige told her once that she looks like Rhianna's older sister. Well, that is until Rhianna changed her hair to look less like Tyra/a drag queen. Good move Rhianna. The only real questions she asked her were whether or not she had ever dated Jay-Z and if Beyonce was responsible for her broken toe. The answer to both questions was no. Snoozefest.
I kind of lost interest in the show after this, and you can all rest assured that I will not be watching any further episodes of the Tyra Banks show. Not this season, not ever!

Mama O's season premiere

Another year, another season of Oprah. This years season premiere is happening in our fair city of New York, and is featuring one Oprah-tastic guest (David Letterman) and one ex-wife of Michael Jackson (Lisa Marie Presley). The first 40 minutes of the show had me glued to the tv (mainly out of lack of a better way to spend my afternoon) for the Letterman interview. Watching the old man talk about his 4 year old son just warms my heart. I'm not sure where this whole alleged Letterman/Winfrey feud came from, where it started or why (perhaps during the who Oprah-Uma debacle at the Oscars a few years back), but I am glad to see the two TV personalities have kissed and made up.

Lisa Marie Presley, on the other hand... wtf? I still don't quite get why she is interesting in any way whatsoever. Yes, we get it, your dad was the king, blah blah blah, and now you're trying to grasp onto whatever remnants of a music career you had by singing a "duet" with your dead father (a very mediocre version of the song "In the Ghetto"), but really, are you worthy of the season premiere of Oprah? Me thinks not. You lost all credibility when you made out with MJ at the VMA's. And then married Nicolas Cage. *cringe*

Tim Gunn's Guide to Style: What Not to Watch

"Tim Gunn, Tim Gunn, when he calls your name you're done!"

I can't help but sing, Project Runway's Season Two contestant, Santino's song whenever the lovable Tim Gunn walks across the screen. I want him to be my stylish gay uncle grandma will never quite understand, I want him over for Thanksgiving and have him decorate the center piece, I adore him. But Uncle Tim, this is beneath you...

Tim Gunn's Guide to Style is Bravo's latest attempt to cash in on the juggernaut that is Project Runway. It is a bit like Queer Eye, but with less screaming, in that Gunn travels around the New York City tristate area making over the dowdy, trampy and confused fashion victim. The premiere episode saw Tim in Huntington, Long Island (about 10 minutes from hometown by the way) revamping the wardrobe of a trampy looking mom and hairdresser. A slightly dazed, but gorgeous, Veronica Webb looked on as Tim diagnosed overexposed cleavage and ill-proportioned trousers before diving herself headfirst into the soccer mom's underwear drawer.

After forcing trampy mom to portion out her wardrobe into three categories, Keep, Mend, Toss, the three go shopping. As Bravo is the flaming Queen of corporate whoring, the trio shop exclusively at Macy's, picking up a few mediocre pieces of clothing before heading to a proper lingerie shop in Manhattan where the audience is treated to a blinding parade of bra try-ons, “this one's too pointy,” “this one's too round”- ugh.

Like I said at the beginning, I heart Tim Gunn but this show is too forced, too contrived and just plain dull. If you want to watch a makeover program, stick to TLC's or BBC America's much more entertaining What Not to Wear, of which both the American and British versions are far more caddy, bitchy, funny and, at times, heartwarming.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Liveblogging the VMAs: Thank God, It's Over

M (10:14:49 PM): yay adrien
M (10:15:42 PM): omg mtv are such liars
M (10:15:46 PM): vma repeat at 11!!!
M (10:15:47 PM): one time my ass
KT (10:15:50 PM): HAAAA
Brian (10:17:25 PM): oh wow
Brian (10:17:27 PM): that's effed.
Brian (10:17:50 PM): i just want to look at megan fox. i don't want to hear her speak.
KT (10:17:55 PM): agreed
M (10:18:03 PM): is everybody else's tv having audio/visual sync probs?
Brian (10:18:27 PM): ours is fine
M (10:18:41 PM): it's like a second off
M (10:18:48 PM): maybe just me, sorry
M (10:19:27 PM): back in the day linkin park was my guilty pleasure
M (10:19:30 PM): shhh
M (10:19:42 PM): that first album had some awful/great singles
Brian (10:19:44 PM): don't feel guilty about that. they used to be really good.
JK (10:20:08 PM): Yeah, I agree. They were great and I think innovative at one point
KT (10:20:12 PM): hmmm i'm not sure what to make of this
KT (10:20:38 PM): the lasers are.... laserific
KT (10:22:19 PM): has lincoln park released anything recently?
M (10:22:20 PM): ok enuff linkin park this isn't 1999
KT (10:22:30 PM): word
M (10:22:42 PM): adrieeeeeen
KT (10:22:43 PM): wait a minute, we only get two guys from entourage?
M (10:23:37 PM): come on white stripes
KT (10:23:41 PM): group?
KT (10:23:46 PM): two people = a group?
M (10:23:49 PM): FOB, gag me
KT (10:25:01 PM): alright guys, only another 30 minutes
KT (10:25:04 PM): can we stick it out?
M (10:25:11 PM): system of a down? really?
JK (10:25:28 PM): Big up Armenians
KT (10:25:30 PM): alicia keys rips it?
KT (10:25:32 PM): what the
Brian (10:25:39 PM): that bug just said "Alicia Keys Rips It"
KT (10:25:44 PM): okay this whole "user is not available" crap is killin me
M (10:28:33 PM): anybody home?
KT (10:29:49 PM): wow i'm really glad we are getting the play by play commentary on this week's issue of intouch
JK (10:30:34 PM): oh wow, Rhianna and Fall Out Boy. I kinda love this
KT (10:32:16 PM): who is our pick for best new artist?
M (10:32:21 PM): nelly?
KT (10:32:21 PM): i'm thinkin lilly allen?
M (10:32:26 PM): i say amy winehouse
JK (10:32:26 PM): PB and J baby
KT (10:32:48 PM): okay there are like twice as many performances as awards
M (10:32:58 PM): that'd be such a great upset
M (10:33:10 PM): even my dog is yawning
KT (10:33:50 PM): i think i like alicia keys' sparkly boots
M (10:34:23 PM): this song is not very exciting
M (10:34:34 PM): diddy's feelin it
Brian (10:34:43 PM): neither are her thrusting hips
M (10:34:44 PM): he starin at the booty
KT (10:34:48 PM): this is not a VMA song
KT (10:34:56 PM): this is a "lite rock" station song
M (10:35:40 PM): george michael!
JK (10:35:48 PM): oh man, awesome
M (10:35:48 PM): sing is sista
KT (10:35:48 PM): this is oddly strangely cool
JK (10:35:58 PM): Freaking love this song
JK (10:36:04 PM): Robbie Williams does a dope cover
KT (10:36:16 PM): oh man, i thought we'd make it through the not without a mention of robbie williams
KT (10:36:20 PM): but i was wrong
M (10:36:30 PM): random but kinda cool, i guess
M (10:36:34 PM): i can't decide yet
JK (10:36:38 PM): you can't escape the Robster!
KT (10:36:38 PM): *night
KT (10:36:48 PM): uh huh
JK (10:36:59 PM): This is so a Ronson remix, I now officially love it
KT (10:37:10 PM): i wonder what george michael thinks of this
M (10:37:21 PM): beyonce is like 'bitch, i shoulda thought of that!'
KT (10:37:26 PM): haha
KT (10:38:22 PM): 20 minutes to go
M (10:38:37 PM): best new artist and video of year next
KT (10:38:44 PM): meh
M (10:40:20 PM): sugar we're goin DOWN
JK (10:41:25 PM): That is just about one of the best karaoke songs
JK (10:41:39 PM): Matt and I belt that, right?
M (10:41:48 PM): (hides in corner)
JK (10:41:58 PM): oh you know you love it
M (10:42:06 PM): i can't bear to hear 'stop me' with this mtv promo anymore
KT (10:42:06 PM): mmmm karaoke
M (10:42:09 PM): it's killing me
M (10:42:14 PM): morrissey would be hella mad
M (10:42:36 PM): just 15 more mins!
Brian (10:43:00 PM): wow, we've gone an hour and 45 mins and we've had one decent perf
KT (10:43:16 PM): i wonder if tweens and such think that this shit is awesome
KT (10:43:22 PM): because they weren't alive for all the really good years
KT (10:43:24 PM): we should take a poll
Brian (10:43:57 PM): jamie foxx is too cocky for his own good
M (10:44:12 PM): i doubt it
M (10:44:17 PM): how can they?
KT (10:44:21 PM): i do not know
KT (10:44:41 PM): jamie foxx is hammered
KT (10:44:45 PM): i would be too if i were there
M (10:45:21 PM): here we go
KT (10:45:34 PM): go lily!
M (10:45:55 PM): aaaamy
Brian (10:46:10 PM): any of them could win and i'd be content
KT (10:46:12 PM): i like the wino, but dude, she should't be winning awards for being a crackhead
M (10:46:28 PM): gym class heroes?
KT (10:46:35 PM): i think she said "gym class fallout"
M (10:46:36 PM): worst vmas evs!!
M (10:46:40 PM): she did
M (10:46:46 PM): same difference
JK (10:46:53 PM): lol
KT (10:47:30 PM): meh
M (10:47:51 PM): find me in da club
Brian (10:48:07 PM): not if it's that one. i'll skip, thanks.
M (10:48:44 PM): make this dummy stop, plese
M (10:49:04 PM): hahhhahaha
KT (10:49:07 PM): oh man, she is too stupid to be making fun of herself
KT (10:49:09 PM): it's just sad
M (10:49:09 PM): pepsi plays amy winehouse
M (10:49:14 PM): while gym class heroes win
KT (10:49:23 PM): this keeps getting more and more retarded
M (10:49:24 PM): how many fuckups can they handle?
KT (10:49:45 PM): this is like amateur hour
KT (10:52:53 PM): only 7 more minutes
KT (10:52:55 PM): thank god
M (10:54:52 PM): final award
M (10:54:54 PM): finally
M (10:55:07 PM): let's end this on a good note, at least, JUSTICE
KT (10:55:37 PM): mary j looks annoyed and upset
M (10:55:55 PM): 50 centS?
M (10:55:57 PM): she messed up
Brian (10:56:11 PM): they're not ending this on time.
KT (10:56:20 PM): yeah, we are going to have to endure more
KT (10:56:21 PM): ugh
M (10:56:55 PM): if i am forced to sit through 5 more minutes of this... well, then i'm treating myself to a cookie
KT (10:56:57 PM): whoa
KT (10:57:04 PM): Dr Dre.... what's up muscles
Brian (10:57:19 PM): yeah, he used to be a fat dude. wow.
M (10:57:21 PM): he stole bea arthur's shoulderpads!
KT (10:57:30 PM): hahaha
KT (10:57:40 PM): i would fuck dr dre with bea arthurs dick
JK (10:57:42 PM): He looks like Hans and Frans
Brian (10:58:20 PM): and Umbrella is the winner
Brian (10:58:22 PM): I'll accept that
M (10:58:29 PM): woooo
KT (10:58:40 PM): ella ella ella
M (10:58:44 PM): girl give a good speech
M (11:00:06 PM): finally it's done
KT (11:00:15 PM): it's over?
KT (11:00:17 PM): please?
M (11:00:20 PM): goodnight all!
Brian (11:00:21 PM): what a shit show
KT (11:00:37 PM): wow
M (11:00:44 PM): question of the day: who do i torture myself once a year with this shit?
KT (11:00:50 PM): what was worse? the entire show, or britney's performance?
M (11:01:01 PM): i've now watched brit's performance like 6 times
M (11:01:09 PM): it only gets more embarrasing
KT (11:01:13 PM): dear god why?
M (11:01:20 PM): to re-examine
Brian (11:01:25 PM): awe, poor girl. *cough*retirement*cough*
M (11:01:28 PM): i was right, it was awful
M (11:01:43 PM): sleep tight!
M (11:01:45 PM) has left the room.
KT (11:01:57 PM): wow
KT (11:02:06 PM): i think we should have watched antiques roadshow
KT (11:02:10 PM): or that ken burns special
Brian (11:02:12 PM): word.
Brian (11:02:19 PM): good night all!
Brian (11:02:25 PM) has left the room.
JK (11:02:41 PM): ciao
KT (11:02:44 PM): and star wipe... and i'm out
KT (11:03:38 PM): wait wait wait, it's not over
JK (11:04:34 PM): oh bloody hell it's back
JK (11:04:40 PM): It won't die
JK (11:08:45 PM): This big remix with Nelly Furtado and Justin is officially the best part of the show.

Liveblogging the VMAs: Hour 2

KT (9:35:54 PM): are all these live performances really necessary?
Brian (9:36:01 PM): ooh, adam looks like a leather daddy
M (9:36:05 PM): adam levine has got to stop
M (9:36:19 PM): hahah love how they cut the performance
KT (9:36:26 PM): did you hear how adam levine nailed maria sharapova and said she was really bad in bed
M (9:36:26 PM): stupidity
KT (9:36:29 PM): liek a dead fish
M (9:36:53 PM): i bet he was the bad one
Brian (9:37:46 PM): MTV is dead to me. Yet they still pay my bills.
KT (9:38:02 PM): haha
KT (9:38:05 PM): yeah i feel bad knocking on mtv so much right now whilst i sit with a roomfull of employees
KT (9:38:07 PM): oh well
Brian (9:42:26 PM): rosario dawson is too good for this show
M (9:42:27 PM): oy
M (9:42:37 PM): i am so goddamn bored
KT (9:43:07 PM): is chris brown the wild'n'out dude?
Brian (9:43:45 PM): ok, now this is cool.
KT (9:43:55 PM): yes this is the type of performance i'm talkin about
Brian (9:44:18 PM): i feel like chris brown is totally the jesus of this show.
M (9:44:24 PM): more lip synching
M (9:44:25 PM): fabulous
M (9:44:38 PM): but a somewhat decent performance
KT (9:44:42 PM): yeah that is sad when a guy who i barely have heard of with a crappy song is the best thing on this show
M (9:44:47 PM): agreed
Brian (9:45:19 PM): i want one of this light table thingies
Brian (9:45:22 PM): *these
KT (9:45:51 PM): ohh this is why beyonce couldn't get through, cuz these giant table things were in her way
Brian (9:46:20 PM): ok, the show should have started with this.
KT (9:46:21 PM): i really like this song
M (9:46:30 PM): what a set of legs, u go girl
M (9:46:34 PM): even ashanti likes it
M (9:46:54 PM): u heard she is starting her own line of umbrellas, right?
KT (9:47:11 PM): hahaha seriously?
M (9:47:23 PM): MJ cover??
M (9:47:24 PM): oh no
KT (9:47:34 PM): oh wow, bring on the crotch grabbing
Brian (9:47:38 PM): chris brown is not worthy.
M (9:47:40 PM): take it off!
KT (9:47:53 PM) has left the room.
KT (9:50:08 PM) has been invited.
KT (9:50:16 PM) has entered the room.
KT (9:51:34 PM): uhh, i'm back i think
KT (9:51:41 PM): hello?
M (9:51:52 PM): hi
M (9:51:55 PM): we all fell asleep!
KT (9:52:14 PM): it's understandable
KT (9:53:04 PM): wow, not only is the show bad, they are promoting bad other shows during the breaks
M (9:53:29 PM): what is this crap?
KT (9:53:33 PM): i do not know
M (9:53:39 PM): kanye, i expected more
Brian (9:53:45 PM): werd up.
KT (9:53:58 PM): imma barf all over the tv
M (9:55:18 PM): the friggin hills girls
M (9:55:22 PM): it can get worse!!
KT (9:55:25 PM): ugh, reality tv stars are terrible
Brian (9:55:29 PM): mtv's #1 show! ugh.
KT (9:55:34 PM): why do we have to see these lameasses from the hills
M (9:55:42 PM): ok male artist of th year, i'm intrigured
KT (9:55:53 PM) has left the room.
M (9:56:14 PM): JUSTIN! COME ON.
KT (9:56:14 PM) has been invited.
M (9:56:19 PM): or kanye. my picks
Brian (9:56:21 PM): seriously. it was totes a justin year.
Brian (9:56:30 PM): yay!
M (9:56:31 PM): dur, JT
M (9:56:39 PM): here comes timbaland
M (9:56:52 PM): they'd make a cute couple
Brian (9:57:06 PM): haha. what do you mean "they would"
M (9:57:33 PM): justin, shut up
M (9:58:02 PM): doin it and doin it and doin it well!
M (9:59:34 PM): poor lighting, poor camera shots
M (10:00:31 PM): k i back
KT (10:01:32 PM) has been invited.
KT (10:01:56 PM) has entered the room.
KT (10:01:59 PM): hooray
M (10:03:53 PM): this must end soon
M (10:03:56 PM): i'm gonna yawn
KT (10:03:57 PM): alright kids, one more hour to go
M (10:04:03 PM): i think 2 no?
M (10:04:08 PM): they have lots of awards left
Brian (10:04:17 PM): nah, it's over at 11
KT (10:04:33 PM): 3 awards in 60 minutes, what's up with that
M (10:04:42 PM): oh ok phew!
M (10:05:03 PM): i think there are only 7 or 8 total
Brian (10:05:19 PM): i wish JT was on team kanye instead of 50
M (10:05:32 PM): me too, sigh.
M (10:06:26 PM): ooh female artist, come on amy!!!
KT (10:06:29 PM): shia seems to have issues reading
KT (10:06:52 PM): oh i hope nelly furtado or rhianna get this one
KT (10:06:55 PM): not fergie
JK (10:06:56 PM): Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull?
JK (10:07:00 PM): Is that real?
KT (10:07:08 PM): and i think it would be bad for winehouse to win
M (10:07:08 PM): if it's fergie...
KT (10:07:19 PM): what
KT (10:07:19 PM): WHAT?
KT (10:07:24 PM): are we serious?
M (10:07:26 PM): fergalicious, so delicious
M (10:07:31 PM): i think so
KT (10:07:33 PM): fergalicious buys you a VMA these days?
KT (10:07:35 PM): ugh
KT (10:07:35 PM): wow
M (10:07:44 PM): wow ludacris doesnt even want fergie's cuties
KT (10:07:51 PM): i think shia labeouf is a better female artists of the year than fergie
M (10:07:59 PM): pam anderson looks fine
M (10:08:01 PM): i'm shocked
KT (10:08:20 PM): um pamela anderson is... um, a little cracked out?
KT (10:08:22 PM): or something
Brian (10:08:40 PM): or old and senile.
M (10:08:45 PM): kanye has a white mic
M (10:08:56 PM): like barbra steisand
KT (10:08:59 PM): i just dont understand what is going on
KT (10:09:06 PM): i need another beer
KT (10:09:07 PM): or 8
M (10:09:27 PM): i thought she did a fine job! better than britney
M (10:09:30 PM): leave pam alone
KT (10:10:28 PM): yaaaawn
Brian (10:10:52 PM): we need more of those planned and choreographed dance numbers and less of these house party ones
M (10:10:54 PM): this is not doing anything for the genius that is 'graduation'
KT (10:11:59 PM): ooooh guys from entourage are coming up next
KT (10:12:07 PM): that makes me happy
M (10:13:09 PM): me too

Liveblogging the VMAs: Hour 1.5

m (8:59:34 PM): OMG JOHN norris looks like a hot mess
m (8:59:39 PM): is he in good charlotte now?
JK (9:00:06 PM): Ok, Fresh START BEGINS NOW
m (9:00:06 PM): lip syncing oh goodness
m (9:00:10 PM): but she looks good
Brian (9:00:12 PM): It's britney, bitch?!?!
JK (9:00:16 PM): She looks fabulous
m (9:00:17 PM): it is!
m (9:00:23 PM): at least sing it bitch
KT (9:00:40 PM): wow her rack looks amazing
m (9:00:41 PM): this is gonna be hte biggest disappointment of my day
JK (9:00:45 PM): Comments from the room, she isn't moving much
m (9:00:48 PM): she lost her moves though
JK (9:00:57 PM): maybe if her heels were lower
m (9:00:58 PM): this is awful
Brian (9:00:59 PM): at least she looks good
m (9:01:04 PM): she isnt even lip sycning right
m (9:01:10 PM): she's about 2 seconds off
KT (9:01:17 PM): this is weird
m (9:01:21 PM): ooh crotch grab!
m (9:01:25 PM): this is SAD
KT (9:01:44 PM): i think she's worried about falling over
m (9:02:22 PM): such a shame cuz i really like the song
m (9:02:29 PM): but this is almost too bad to watch
KT (9:02:40 PM): she's like.... not even trying
m (9:02:44 PM): hahhaa 50 looks confused
KT (9:02:47 PM): hahaha i think 50 cents face just said it all
KT (9:02:59 PM): and rhianna is laughing at her
Brian (9:03:01 PM): is rihanna laughing at her?
Brian (9:03:03 PM): wow
m (9:03:17 PM): omg this is gonna be watercooler gossip tomorrow
KT (9:03:17 PM): that was it?
KT (9:03:20 PM): weird
m (9:03:20 PM): everybody hated it
m (9:03:26 PM): ouch
Brian (9:03:37 PM): i think i'm the only one who didn't hate it
JK (9:03:39 PM): Song was ok, the remix is going to be the shit. Let Justice get a hold of this
JK (9:03:46 PM): Yeah you are Brian
Brian (9:03:58 PM): Tear.
Brian (9:04:06 PM): SS rocks my world.
m (9:04:08 PM): yay sarah
KT (9:04:13 PM): wow i can't wait to say what sarah silverman has to say about it
m (9:04:16 PM): make fun of that performance please!!!
JK (9:04:17 PM): Oh god, she is so unfunny
m (9:04:22 PM): I LOVE HER
JK (9:04:24 PM): I want to punch her in the throat
m (9:04:54 PM): she's bombing too
Brian (9:04:59 PM): she's wearing the same pants she's wearing in the GAP ads
m (9:04:59 PM): this is gonna be a long night
m (9:05:15 PM): britney's gonna punch her back stage
Brian (9:05:29 PM): wow.
m (9:06:01 PM): paris and birtney gonna kill dat bitch
m (9:06:22 PM): this is gonna go down as the worst VMAs
KT (9:07:11 PM): i'm trying to remember other VMA hosts....
JK (9:07:12 PM): Silverman has diarrea of the mouth, what an idiot
Brian (9:07:23 PM): her pacing is a little odd right now
KT (9:07:26 PM): because i can't remember anybody being this akward
m (9:07:53 PM): chris rock, err, chris rock again.
m (9:08:04 PM): it really is awkward
m (9:08:25 PM): the guy in the house band looks like ryan adams
JK (9:08:29 PM): Oh Mark Ronson! I want to jump him!
m (9:08:30 PM): always a good thing
KT (9:08:35 PM): yeah anybody would have been better than sarah, yeech
m (9:08:37 PM): omg tht's mark!
m (9:08:40 PM): he looks fab
Brian (9:08:40 PM): there's alicia, the dominatrix
JK (9:08:41 PM): DUH!
m (9:08:51 PM): no reruns b/c it's awful
m (9:09:05 PM): is alicia keys turning into halle berry?
m (9:09:42 PM): put some music in the background or something
m (9:09:44 PM): this is so, odd.
m (9:09:52 PM): god love kanye
KT (9:10:15 PM): wow i am so bored with this show already
KT (9:10:24 PM): we are ten minutes in and i would rather be like... i dunno... doing my laundry
m (9:10:25 PM): it can only get better, right?
JK (9:10:27 PM): It is like they are trying so hard to make this seem important, but really, nobody cares anymore?
KT (9:10:29 PM): or at least masturbating
m (9:10:40 PM): no amy winehouse which
JK (9:10:43 PM): LOL
m (9:10:44 PM): oh great mic doesnt work for pete
m (9:10:45 PM): fantastic
m (9:11:09 PM): anyway, no amy winehouse which makes me sad
m (9:11:16 PM): is it bad that i love that eve 'tambourine' song?
KT (9:11:23 PM): oh right, so there are going to be awards at some point, yeah?
KT (9:11:39 PM): is that a real award? monster single?
KT (9:11:40 PM): what the
m (9:11:44 PM): this has to go to rihanna!
m (9:11:50 PM): 'new category'
KT (9:12:03 PM): yeah i'm going with rhianna
KT (9:12:07 PM): or delilah
KT (9:12:10 PM): actualy, delilah
m (9:12:12 PM): if plain white Ts win i am throwing a fit
KT (9:12:16 PM): probably
KT (9:12:22 PM): whatcha got against delilah?
m (9:12:32 PM): ugh ugh and more ugh
Brian (9:12:34 PM): that song came out like two years ago and it's just now big. stupid.
KT (9:12:35 PM): oh that timbaland song is hot too
m (9:12:44 PM): wooooooooooooooooo
m (9:12:46 PM): umbrella
Brian (9:12:47 PM): yay!
KT (9:12:50 PM): undah my umbrella
KT (9:12:51 PM): nice
KT (9:12:57 PM): have you heard the mandy moore cover of it?
m (9:12:58 PM): you go girl
m (9:13:02 PM): yes and it's awful
KT (9:13:03 PM): the folksy version?
m (9:13:14 PM): she looks nice in the hot pink
KT (9:13:19 PM): is it? i haven't heart it the whole way, just parts of it. but i have a lady crush on mandy moore
m (9:13:23 PM): actually i take that back
Brian (9:13:25 PM): her breasts look amazing
m (9:13:27 PM): my eyes hurt
KT (9:13:51 PM): i'd like to start a rack-o-meter
KT (9:13:54 PM): britney was about an 8
KT (9:13:59 PM): rhianna is a 9.5
KT (9:14:08 PM): we are talking strictly boobs
Brian (9:14:21 PM): works for me
m (9:14:29 PM): how bad was britney on a 0-10 scale?
m (9:14:31 PM): 0.2?
Brian (9:14:43 PM): you're mean. she was like a 6.
KT (9:14:45 PM): oh they are in ghostbar in the palms, i like that place
KT (9:14:51 PM): britney was pretty bad...
KT (9:14:59 PM): i'd give her a 2.5
KT (9:15:06 PM): she had so much riding on it and she failed
m (9:15:09 PM): this black light kanye thing is hella lame
m (9:15:19 PM): she definitely failed what a shame
KT (9:15:24 PM): hahaha, "hella"... that's such a norcal word, i love it
KT (9:15:57 PM): wow are we all supposed to stay tuned in to see akon, jennifer hudson, and chris brown? i mean, that's it?
m (9:16:49 PM): oy!!
KT (9:17:37 PM): i miss the 90s... i miss madonna and michael jackon making out with lisa marie
KT (9:17:38 PM): sigh
m (9:19:04 PM): so shall we take guesses on video of the year just yet?
m (9:19:05 PM): so shall we take guesses on video of the year just yet?
m (9:19:20 PM): here's hoping justice DANCEs away with it!
KT (9:19:45 PM): i dont even know what the nominees are
Brian (9:20:34 PM): me neither.
m (9:20:44 PM): maroon 5 kill me now
KT (9:20:46 PM): oh sweet, is akon gonna start humping underage girls?
m (9:21:15 PM): omg did they mess up again?
KT (9:21:17 PM): oh seth rogan, this could be good
m (9:21:22 PM): what the hell is going on?
KT (9:21:40 PM): i'm really not sure
KT (9:26:17 PM) has entered the room.
Brian (9:26:17 PM) has entered the room.
JK (9:26:17 PM) has entered the room.
m (9:26:17 PM) has entered the room.
KT (9:26:51 PM): okay what is up with the weird ass performances in the little clubs and rooms
m (9:27:04 PM): what's with all these mark ronson songs in the hills promos?
KT (9:27:09 PM): we are watching the VMAS for theatrics, for big performances
KT (9:27:14 PM): not for a band playing in a tiny room
m (9:27:18 PM): it's like 'the grind: revisited!'
KT (9:27:41 PM): haha where is eric nies!
KT (9:27:55 PM): i'm glad we are all old enough to remember MTV in its hayday
Brian (9:28:19 PM): maybe that's why we hate this so much right now. we're old. old people hate change.
m (9:28:23 PM): yes when 'lightning crashes' ruled the world
m (9:28:32 PM): haha no but this is geniunely bad!
m (9:28:42 PM): no 2 ways about it
KT (9:28:52 PM): i will be curious to see other reviews, because, what the fuck
KT (9:28:59 PM): i mean, do you think 13 year olds are even enjoying this?
KT (9:29:02 PM): i doubt it
m (9:29:12 PM): next year it'll be back in radio city better than ever
m (9:29:20 PM): with one shitty performance after the next
KT (9:29:29 PM): okay, so we are 30 minutes in, do we think it's bad, beyond the point of return
KT (9:29:51 PM): even the commercials are annoying me
Brian (9:30:10 PM): KT, i think you are just in a bad, bad mood.
m (9:30:43 PM): all performances thus far:
KT (9:30:46 PM): hahaha, noooooo
m (9:30:51 PM): yes
JK (9:31:16 PM): Yeah, this is a total and complete embarressment.
m (9:31:38 PM): what is this shit now?
m (9:31:40 PM): i can't even watch
m (9:31:58 PM): foo fighters, yikes
JK (9:32:18 PM): Yeah, Foo Fighters, why?
JK (9:32:30 PM): And off all the artists performing, the Foo are on the big billboards
KT (9:32:33 PM): i mean, i got nothin against the foo, but this is not the time nor the place
JK (9:32:38 PM): how does this make marketing sense
KT (9:32:52 PM): "earthshattering collaboration"
KT (9:32:53 PM): ugh
m (9:33:05 PM): kanye and 50 are gonna make out?
m (9:33:07 PM): kanye and 50 are gonna make out?oh. damn.
m (9:33:08 PM): kanye and 50 are gonna make out?oh. damn.
KT (9:33:21 PM): the only thing that would make this worth watching would be if a knife fight broke out on stage
JK (9:33:24 PM): Could Kanye not find a suit that fit?
m (9:33:34 PM): i hate this beyonce/shakira song
m (9:33:52 PM): sexyback has to win, come on, talk about massive
KT (9:34:00 PM): agreed
m (9:34:11 PM): waht??? no!!
KT (9:34:14 PM): booo
m (9:34:31 PM): where jay z at?
Brian (9:34:55 PM): where's beyonce's skinny version at?
Brian (9:35:05 PM): girl look fat
KT (9:35:14 PM): i give her a 7 on the rack-o-meter
JK (9:35:20 PM): Never had a dress needed so much double sided tape
m (9:35:20 PM): her booby is gonna fall out on the left side
m (9:35:28 PM): hahaah
m (9:35:37 PM): NO MORE MAROON 5
JK (9:35:37 PM): It's her dress!
m (9:35:39 PM): please

The Pre-show. The Crappy crappy pre-show.

B has entered the chat room.
KT (8:38:21 PM): Well if Suchin Pak says "the party has officially started", then I'm sold
JK has entered the chat room.
B (8:39:58 PM): Is it just me or has Alicia Keys gone from classy hot chick to "I'm gonna spank you until you're crying" hot
KT (8:40:22 PM): is she going for the whole "dominatrix chic" look?
KT (8:40:25 PM): cuz i'm totally into that
JK (8:40:48 PM): It's dungeon chic
KT (8:42:01 PM): OH man! It's Elliot Yamin!
KT (8:42:16 PM): I feel like this year the VMAs are going to be overrun by American Idol alums
KT (8:42:28 PM): now that they've all had their teeth makeovers and whatnot
B (8:42:40 PM): I don't feel like he belongs on MTV. Like, he should be on Lifetime or something.
KT (8:42:57 PM): agreed
KT (8:43:22 PM): wow, Paris Hilton looks like a spoiled trophy wife circa 1983
KT (8:44:42 PM): nothing says "i just got out of jail" like leopard print
B (8:46:42 PM): Yeah, she's really pushing for that "wholesome" look... overcompensating for the fact that she's an ex-con.
KT (8:47:40 PM): i'm officially bored by the preshow, let's get to brit brit already
KT (8:47:55 PM): what's the over/under on one of her boobs flyin out?
KT (8:51:41 PM): I am amused that Paris Hilton thinks that she is starring in "A Film"
B (8:52:45 PM): She's a total thespian.
KT (8:53:12 PM): only 8 and a half minute to go
KT (8:53:59 PM): ugh, I can't handle John Norris anymore, he's killing my soul
B (8:54:43 PM): Little known fact about Mr. Norris: he preys upon younger gentlemen.
KT (8:54:58 PM): oh yeah, i find this surprising in no way
KT (8:55:47 PM): hey so what do we think brit brit will be performing? i'm guessing a medley of past hits as well as her new semi-crappy song
B (8:56:05 PM): I feel like it will be just her new song.
JK (8:56:10 PM): I saw him out with his boytoy, way too hot for the bleach blond man boy Norris
JK (8:56:26 PM): I agree with the medley
JK (8:56:44 PM): Slave 4 U definitely amongst them
KT (8:56:54 PM): i mean, i think we can all agree she will be scantily clad and relatively trashy
JK (8:56:59 PM): well, at least a girl can dream it is true
KT (8:56:59 PM): i mean, this is britney in vegas
KT (8:57:18 PM): let us not forget this is the same town she got married in a few years ago
KT (8:57:23 PM): for 72 hours
KT (8:57:36 PM): ahh those were simpler times, when she was still hot, before k-fed and the babies
JK (8:59:19 PM): I am so confused by the Foo Fighters being here and being what? The house band?
JK (8:59:23 PM): Why?
KT (8:59:37 PM): well, they dont suck
B (8:59:38 PM): Jack White was last year.
B (8:59:49 PM): with some old dude I do not recall
KT (8:59:50 PM): nah i think it was the uh... jack white's side project
KT (8:59:57 PM): the uhh, what are they called?
M has entered the chat room.
M (9:00:02 PM): yay!
M (9:00:03 PM): we did it
JK (9:00:06 PM): Hi Matt!
KT (9:00:11 PM): Rackonteurs
KT (9:00:14 PM): woot woot!
B (9:00:18 PM): Raconteurs, yes
B (9:00:19 PM): thank you
M (9:00:22 PM): omg some guy i hooked up with is online
JK (9:00:24 PM): Right, but the Raconteurs were big
M (9:00:26 PM): (i havent been on aim in 4 years)
KT (9:00:33 PM): haha nice
JK (9:00:36 PM): Matt, you do know we are liveblogging this? haha
M (9:00:42 PM): hahah
M (9:00:42 PM): k
M (9:00:47 PM): will stop being sily now
M (9:00:49 PM): ::serious face::
M (9:00:56 PM): OMG BRITNEY IN 2
KT (9:01:04 PM): alright, i am going to post this now, so we can begin a new, fresh blog post once brit starts

Live Blogging the VMA's with The Sluts

Welcome to the live blogging on the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. We have a very special treat for you today, the newcomers here on The Television Slut will be blogging along side the old hands of The Music Slut. Stay tuned for the witty banter...and or drunken ranting. One or the other.

Call Me Crazy...

But I'm rooting for poor ol' Britters. The VMAs have been on such a steady decline over the last few years, MTV is completely relying on the location of Vegas and Britney's perf to help bring up the ratings this year. Talk about pressure. But I guess this is the perfect opportunity for her to fix her rep. She's gonna do it. I can feel it... Stay tuned.

The VMAs!!!

In honor of being spawned from the loins of the wonderous site, The Music Slut, we felt it best to have our first extravaganza of blogging awesomeness take place on the magical night of the MTV Video Music Awards. And by magical, I mean weird, silly, and borderline outdated. Granted, being 26 years old, I don't watch much in the way of MTV these days, thusly I am only vaguely interested in the sorts of people they are parading out during the spectacle of a pre-show they are currently airing. But no matter what, I think it's safe to say that the glory days of the VMA's are in the past. I only kind of hope that tonight I am proven wrong. Who knows, maybe the big Britney Spears/Criss Angel collaboration will bring MTV out of its funk. Stand by, enjoy the show, and the blogtastic fun that is about to take place.

Suddenly We See

Slut is defined as "a person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous." Well, um, we officially have no comment about that. Instead, slut to us is defined as a complete openness to try all things and if we like something, an utter desire to keep coming back for more. As Sex and the City's Samantha once said "I'm a tri-sexual, I'll try anything once." So whether it is Six Feet Under or My Sweet Sixteen, we'll be watching...just not always swallowing.

From the people who brought you the whorish goodness of The Music Slut, welcome to the brand spanking new Television Slut. Over the course of the next few weeks we'll be introducing you to a band of new writers but for now, say hi to editor KT. A tramp from way back, KT works in film and television in New York and will be sharing with us fresh insights and insider information into the dark world they call "the biz."